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We hugged, kissed and I calmed her. If someone with a secure attachment style experiences desire, bliss and euphoria from reconciling with a lover, why wouldnt it have the same or greater effect on an avoidant? Dismissive avoidants react with suppressing anger for two reasons: The suppression of anger over time causes a build-up of anger that can potentially result in an outburst; and even violent behaviour. For your fearful-avoidant ex to come back, your ex will have to go through the same stages dumpers go through and discern that you were a good partner to him or her. NC with FA for 60 days then reached out but let him take the majority of the initiative. It will make them feel overwhelmed or conversely, neglected if you give them too much space. She kept snapchatting me then for 2 weeks until I said I couldnt do this anymore. And without any feelings whats so ever. If they don't then you can reach out to them around three . What Happens When You Stop Chasing An Avoidant? Im 67 now. Texting a lot Instead of working on the relationship, communicating through issues, and expressing their feelings in an understandable manner, they stonewall you or disappear. When uncertainty is your kryptonite, predictability and control feel like your saving grace. What we know is that the fearful avoidant tends to pull away when they are overwhelmed by commitment or pressure. any suggestions? In some cases, they will tease the idea of getting back together. Its not an excuse but the reason why we are avoidants. her parents are narcissists and controlled her. 21 Ways to Increase Intimacy and Communication with Avoidant Partners Will No Contact Make A Fearful Avoidant Lose Feelings? She just cant overcome the negative emotions and a lack of love and determination. 10. Thanks for your reply Kathy. Why would he do that? And also, if youre looking for individual advice regarding your fearful-avoidant ex, get in touch with us by subscribing to our coaching services. They're scared to reach out first because they don't want to be met with rejection and they don't want to have their ego damaged any more than what it already is.